So as it turns out, the Earth: not flat.

Monday morning was the first day it had rained since I arrived in Seattle. I thought, it's about time. I've always loved the rain. And stairs. Two things you don't have in Arizona. Although, this is also why I don't own an umbrella. Or the seasoned cardio vascular system bred to climb the many hills that make up Downtown.

I was selective when passing out my super minimalist, home made business cards during my tour (guided by Lisa, VP) around the office. Going out of my way, when delivering them to each new hand, to call them "my contact information" rather than "my card." That was a courtesy more for my own dignity, than their stomach.

I meet Colleen Office Manager, and Trent. Business manager. "Hank's from the University of Arizona. So if you need him for anything." Trent has just come in, takes off his coat, taps the space bar on his keyboard. Trent's eye contact is lazy and he files his hands through papers on his desk as Lisa explains that, surprisingly, most interns seem to never seek him out during their time at Screaming Flea. "It was nice to meet you." The cubicle adjacent houses a delightful, but diluted version of Molly Shannon.

"This is Jodi, she heads our development team." I love your work. And not just Superstar. I mean, I have the VHS. Anyway,

"Hank," shakes hand, "Let me give you my contact."

Down the hall, "We need an door access card." Kelly works at writing an episode of Three Sheets, the company's most popular show. It follows this joe around the world to find the best drink specific to its region, a sort of alcoholic cultural bonanza.


fig 1. Zane

"Everyone in the office has a 'thing,'" Lisa explains, "Kelly has a snack each day that matches the color of his shirt." Um, Paul's one of the editors they keep in a small room with that grey egg crate bed-padding on the walls. He's one of the few I feel like I'd be friends with outside of work. There's the cinematographers, producers and interns past.

Right after I get my computer and password, and fancy telephone Lelia comes in worried someone else had found me for a task. We sit down and turns out she wants me to help out with some research for pre-production of a new series by the name of Test Drive. "It's got to have the same feel as Three Sheets, are you familiar?" Just watching the opening I felt like I had been a dedicated fan the span of the life of the show. It's for the iN Demand network MOJO, similar to cable's Spike- targeting affluent men 25-50. And you guessed it: Cars. My job today is to hunt down DB Drag National races in the North West over July and August, and talk to the Wayne Harris, president of the organization. What? They don't race, as much as they just pop open the back and see who's got the loudest stereo.

When updating George and Lelia the next day about what I had found, another producer came up and mistook me for Test Drive's host. No he's the intern.


fig 2.

"Well I’ll shake your hand anyway." Nice gesture. Later that afternoon I over hear her complaining that she’s got pink eye. I’m growing anxious, she shook my hand, knowing she had pink eye. But hey, it’s viral not bacterial. What?

Patrick is my Tuesday/Thursday fellow intern, desk neighbor. He takes the bus up from Tacoma, works four hours, and then convinces one of his local friends to pick him up. He spends a lot of time on Facebook and high-fiving writers of Gardening by the Yard. When he talks I fall into one of those Trent habits. Just repeating every last couple words he says, while writing an email or looking up phone numbers.

He'll say, "Yeah, I take the bus all the way from Tacoma. It sucks."

"That does suck." Now I don't really think it's that bad, especially because at one point I was going to ride the bus. And now apparently neither does he.

Defensively, "Well, it's not that awful."

Trent habits are getting me in trouble.

Later in the week I couldn't avoid the more traditional intern assignments. Transcribing hidden camera testimonials for Sell This House, and logging location and appearance releases for Tool Belt Diva. It gives me chance to move around. I like the room with Lee in it. She's the producer for STH and she's funny. She also suggested me a paying gig when I mentioned I'd be needing a part-time job. And it was good intentions, but after seeing a couple episodes of Doggy Day Care, I won’t be calling The Dog Lounge in inquiry of an application.